It Poured Out As Hard As The Torrential Rain

Tonight, the tears fell down as hard as the morning rain that fell today. An emotional outpouring that felt still strange. It ended a few weeks back, but the tears just burst as if it happened just now. I sobbed and cried out till I felt there wasn’t any more to let out. I buried my face in my Beatles shirt, I let it catch the tears. I’ve never cried with my contacts on, and tonight was the first time.

Since it happened, I’ve tried to put up a brave front. I’ve done a lot to take it off my mind. I’ve been silent so that it won’t be at the top of my head, and turned myself into an unfeeling being to be able to do all this. But when thanks were murmured, and the goodbyes were exchanged with a seeming finality, the defense I’ve made just fell into pieces, the feelings were released like the breaking of a dam.

So tonight, I’m letting all the tears go out. I won’t leave anything for tomorrow. I won’t leave any more tears welled up behind my eyes. Tomorrow, friendship starts, where casual hi’s and hello’s will be exchanged, ‘kamusta’s and ‘what’s up’s will be staple greetings. Tomorrow, is the leaving of the yesterday behind with finality.

Lastly, a thank you is appropriate for letting me be. For understanding why all this has to happen, for expressing true love in setting me free. For letting me find the happiness that will eventually lead to the fulfillment of what I’m here on this earth for. For letting me be honest enough and being honest with me enough.

For loving me.

6 thoughts on “THOUGHTS

  1. Life is beautiful! The best movie I ever saw. The best motto to live by! This may come as a bit intrusive and unsolicited but just want to encourage you….from the shallowest to the deepest of relationships, one can be truly happy — it’s a bit difficult but really worth it! If we can accept the person and hope for the best! After all, the BOSS up there has already handed you the best of gifts called LIFE…share it and enjoy it!

  2. mr/ms anonymous- thanks for your kind words. both of us, me and my former one, kind of failed at acceptance and we both succeeded in only accepting that fact. it is indeed beautiful, and after wiping down the tears, i only look forward to hoping for the best things and work hard to make myself happy. someday ill be ready to make someone happy in accepting each other. so thanks again!abi! thanks for taking time to read and offering your ear to my woes. i know where to buzz you! thanks tlaga!

  3. Cry if u must. Let all the tears fall down. Wallow. And when u think u’ve cried enough, smile and say “Now I’m okay.” Think, feel, say that you ARE okay.If it’s still aint working… You have a lot of ways to facilitate its relief: 1) sports (hellyeah) 2) movie 3) coffee 4) the wonders of blogging and chatting 5) good book 6) and of course, CATHARSIS with your friends 7) and dont forget to say a little prayer 🙂

  4. hey teachoy tweena 🙂 i released them tears like a dam already 🙂 it was a sad time letting them come down, releasing the tears… thanks for listening to me and allowing me to do catharsis with our chat sessions and sharing and exchanging points of views and opinions… and for praying with me ! 🙂

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