ON A FLATSPIN

Other than my career, everything else seems to be on the dip. There’s no one to blame but myself. The reincarnated alcohol demon must be taking its toll on me. The last four weeks, I’ve been binging on hard alcohol at least once a week. I’ve never handled hard alcohol well and I know for a fact what kind of monster I could turn into when I drink too much vodka or tequila or scotch or gin or brandy.

I’ve been getting spells of indifference and selfishness. I feel like I’m battling a personality disorder. My moods have been fairly unpredictable, especially here at home, sometimes when I’m with other family members, and in some rare occassions, while chatting online with friends.

I think I’m pregnant.

Ugh. I hate this feeling. I like the way downward little spirals look like, but I certainly hate feeling like I’m sliding down one.

Crap.

This sure makes me feel like the holidays are more than a year away.

+++

This whole crap episode is just sad.

I’m fighting tears and I just don’t know how to make everything stop.

I need a drink.

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Please don’t mind me. KSP mode. The irritating kind. Warning: This blog is going to the dogs.

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