In my 27 years on earth so far, I must have broken more than the same number of promises. Okay maybe ‘more than’ is an understatement. Maybe an ‘exponentially larger’ number of times fits that phrase more. Well of course it’s only natural that we break a few promises because after all, we are not perfect and since life is a crazy, twisted and sick (and beautiful) cycle, sometimes we break them because situations are way beyond our meager control. There are instances that we fail to fulfill what we have given our guarantee to because simply put we made a mistake. And of course, we don’t always learn from our mistakes. There are those times that we are fooled by life because sometimes, it camouflages the same situations we’ve made mistakes in the past and we get sucker punched cold, giving us a chance to wake up, stand, shake off the cobwebs and give us a chance to smart from that lapse.
And of course, again, I’ve digressed way beyond my original point.
Of course it hurts to break a promise, and I imagine it’s much more painful for someone whom the promise was made. Although we try to make up and make it right, chips of trust fall off, and our credibility to keep our word takes a (real bad, harmless or plain pinchy… depends on what kind of promise we made) hit. And though some people may think that promises broken are not a big deal, just imagine how much of a ruckus it could bring when a promise has been fulfilled.
Anyway, tonight I made a small promise that would take a big amount of myself to fulfill. It’s neither a promise of love, nor a promise of a better life but a promise of being somebody that will break every other promise, heart or word of honor but this. It’s a promise of commitment to being something to someone, a subtle submission borne out of unconditional love.
A promise that I intend to keep till the end.
Everyone will be left with my broken promises, save for one. And it’s for all the pebbles in my little fishbowl world, all the cookies in my cookie jar life, including the precious crumbs.