Dear Scarlet,

I’m sorry if I dropped you accidentally last gig (May 3). The darn strap slipped and caused you to fall face down on 6 Underground’s hard, cold, stone floor. That caused your pickups to come loose and you know how much effort I placed into getting them back to their rightful places as soon as I got back to the office. Since that happened, I was afraid that you would get back at me the following gig for being that careless.

But no. I guess you do love me back that much. Last night, you didn’t let me down (my guitar skills did, again making me live up to my description in the band profile at our web site.) Instead, you gave out your best sound since I’ve started playing you. Maybe it was the great equipment, or my recently acquired patience in taking time to setup my sound, but definitely I was surprised that you gave me the cleanest, sweetest, guitar string and body sound with me playing in my WHOLE life. Well, I guess you really work well with your partner, The BOSS, but still, for this post-gig high, I choose to recognize you. (Uhm, BOSS, don’t conk out on me please? You’ll get your turn because you have a hand in this.)

So thank you for being who you really were last night. I’ve finally found the right way to make music with you.

Hopefully, fate would cooperate in my intentions never to drop you again.

Your Loving Owner,

*Note: Scarlet is an Ibanez AWD82-TBR, and my new old BOSS (officially beginning June 5, thanks to Teejay) is a BOSS ME-8 multi-effects processor. They’re sleeping soundly beside me, right beside my bed. They’ve had a rough day.

**Note again: If you believe this person has lost his mind for writing a letter to inanimate objects, please do not have him committed. He is weird and often misunderstood.

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