I was never alone.
I knew that, in the back of my head. But still, I didn’t stop my mind, my lips and my voice from whining why, until now, I am going through all this without anyone to share it with.
Fine, a year ago, I chose this course of action, this way of life. For my own good. To find myself, to know myself. To be alone.
But life, I guess, doesn’t really change with such decisions. It will continue to try you the very same way it tried you when you had someone. Life will still give you both joy and pain, with or without that other part of you.
Life does not pick on people who are alone, life does not pick on anyone.
In that backseat I cried, I sobbed, and I struggled with the words and the events that unfolded in the morning. I have not let the tears out for a long time. I haven’t been this overly emotional, until recently. I haven’t felt life try my character and myself for a while now, and it hit me in the moment I was very vulnerable and weak. I cried because I was running out of breath, struggling to keep everything at bay, to myself, because I thought I was alone in this dillemma, because I knew I was alone in my life right now.
Thank God for the two people in the front seat during that moment, and them for pulling over, offering sheets of paper towels, prayers, words of comfort and wisdom, time and company. I cannot put what I felt afterward into words, but I guess the only way of showing my appreciation for what they’ve done for me said it all.
And their act of kindness finally reinforced the obvious truth that was there all along, staring me in the face.
I was never alone. And we will never be.
This is for the people who will never be alone, and will remind me of that truth always.