I was never alone.

I knew that, in the back of my head. But still, I didn’t stop my mind, my lips and my voice from whining why, until now, I am going through all this without anyone to share it with.

Fine, a year ago, I chose this course of action, this way of life. For my own good. To find myself, to know myself. To be alone.

But life, I guess, doesn’t really change with such decisions. It will continue to try you the very same way it tried you when you had someone. Life will still give you both joy and pain, with or without that other part of you.

Life does not pick on people who are alone, life does not pick on anyone.

In that backseat I cried, I sobbed, and I struggled with the words and the events that unfolded in the morning. I have not let the tears out for a long time. I haven’t been this overly emotional, until recently. I haven’t felt life try my character and myself for a while now, and it hit me in the moment I was very vulnerable and weak. I cried because I was running out of breath, struggling to keep everything at bay, to myself, because I thought I was alone in this dillemma, because I knew I was alone in my life right now.

Thank God for the two people in the front seat during that moment, and them for pulling over, offering sheets of paper towels, prayers, words of comfort and wisdom, time and company. I cannot put what I felt afterward into words, but I guess the only way of showing my appreciation for what they’ve done for me said it all.

And their act of kindness finally reinforced the obvious truth that was there all along, staring me in the face.

I was never alone. And we will never be.

This is for the people who will never be alone, and will remind me of that truth always.

2 thoughts on “THOUGHTS

  1. Life was never meant to be lived alone, hence the presence of many individuals in your life, in this world. You may opt to isolate yourself for whatever reason your mind see fit, but your heart nor your soul will allow you that “luxury of a misery” you created, for long.In times of weakness, in the presence of your friends who value and love you, please do not apologize for sharing your burden, your troubles. If joy and a sense of camaraderie brought us together, trials will bring us closer.You’ve seen the worse/worst of us, Johnnyboy and have been a pillar of strength to us all. We are happy to repay you with the same kindness and generosity.With regard your problem, have faith, talk it over with them and hopefully understanding your situation will sink in and open their eyes. It’s true that as family we have that obligation to support but even God did not intend for it to the extent that you are deprived of the opportunity to live your life in the way it is meant to be. There is another way and that way will be presented to you later on by Him…signing out–

  2. i can’t say enough but thank you…your words are indeed a comfort, and help me reinforce my very being and contributes greatly in the search and continuous building of my guys, most especially you, have been a real source of strength, faith and life. i just can’t imagine myself making it through without each and everyone, lalo na you…many thanks for always reminding me of the things that i have forgotten in my blindness…with much love and appreciation…– j

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