THOUGHTS

I Remember…

I forget a lot of things. On most days, I forget my handkerchief. Everyday, I forget at least to do one thing that I am supposed to do, or forget to bring one thing that I am supposed to bring with me either for lending to someone or returning to someone. Sometimes, I forget that I am not supposed to do everything in my job, that I am not everyone’s savior or that I am not everyone’s friend and finally, that I can say no.

And since today, I have not much to do, I will try to remember things that I haven’t forgotten as much as I have others.

I remember…

(kid stuff)

– falling into an open canal while walking home.
– always going to the market with my nanny to buy Matchbox.
– taking the wheel of dad’s car while sitting on his lap before they go off to work.
– contently licking ice cream off the cone and my fingers whenever my dad took me along when he goes to his bowling games.
– going straight for the toy cabinet whenever we visited my cousins.
– remember calling myself ‘wawa’ whenever we’d go home from visiting my cousins.
– always asking my parents if my cousins could stay in during weekends when they’d come to visit.
– buying ‘snowcones’ from the sari-sari store right in front of our old Makati home.
– how the streets flooded J. Victor street whenever the rains poured.
– how happy I’d always be at my mom’s pasalubong whenever she came home from work.
– how I’d always be at my sister’s side during the first few months after she was born.
– how I always loved taking the handles of my sister’s stroller and cooing to her.
– blowing the candles on her cake on the first birthday because all she could do was the lip motion.
– how I cried during the first day of school.
– how I met Jackie, because she was also crying that day, and we we’re made to sit beside one another because apparently crybabies are supposed to sit next to each other.
– having my first barkada at kindergarten – Nino, TJ and I – all dressed in ‘bagets’ look. Yes, very eighties.
– always craving for Shakey’s Chick N’ Chips, KFC and Tom Sawyer’s chicken. Sometimes, I feel I can still remember how good they tasted then.

Yes, there are a lot of things that I can still remember. Mostly, it comes from somewhere deep in my mind that knows that way before, I was living the good life. But mostly, I remember things because they made me happy.

And up to now, I am still capable of remembering. I’m just glad that I don’t forget, especially those times that make me happy and smile and…

I am just glad that I can still remember, because there are those moments that I don’t EVER want to forget…

+++

On the ride home last night, I was sitting by the door of the shuttle service. When a group of people got off, they must have shut the door too lightly because a few moments later, the door opened when I leaned into it.

I could have fallen down into the road and gotten run over by a tricycle or a motorcycle or a bike or a skateboard and gotten really hurt. I could have looked like a whimpering fool, arms flailing and legs kicking as I roll on the road.

Or my ass could have saved me and make me go ‘boing-boing-boing’ along the road until I lose my bounce. But I don’t have that bouncy ass and since I’ve been losing weight, I don’t think that I’d bounce, especially off a finely asphalted road.

I just thank God for not letting me fall off.

That would have been amazingly embarassing and frighteningly horrid.

And I thought I was ready for anything.

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